What Does It Take To Have Authentic Belonging Relationships?

 

1) VULNERABILITY

 

  • Pride keeps us from being vulnerable and cause us to respond with denial, defensiveness, and dishonesty.

 

“There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable.” – C.S. Lewis

 

Excuses we make to keep us from being vulnerable:

  • My Personality – We say that’s just the way I am.
  • Pace of Life – We are busy and avoid anything that takes too much time.
  • The Mirage – We use “filters” and “polish” options to hide behind.
  • “We don’t talk about that” – We choose to avoid tough conversations.
  • Dismissive Spiritual Talk – We are too blessed to be stressed.
  • The Holiness Game – We only talk about our wins and never our struggles.
  • Scripture calls us to model vulnerability.

 

Romans 5:18-20; James 5:16; Luke 17:4

 

How to Practice Vulnerability:

  • Develop a right view of God.
  • Identify your fears.
  • Practice being present.
  • Find safe people.

 

2) EMPATHY

 

  • Empathy is listening, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating the powerful message of “you are not alone.”
  • The enemies of empathy are indifference, impatience, insecurity, and ignorance.

 

“Empathetic persons enter into the feelings of others for the sake of support, relief and healing.” – Scot McKnight

 

  • Compassion is empathy in action and Jesus was the best at it.

 

Mark 6:34
When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.

 

How to Practice Empathy:

  • Remember your sin.
  • Learn people’s full stories.
  • Listen and validate.

 

3) ACCOUNTABILITY

 

  • Accountability causes connection when others are valued.

 

John 1:14, The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

 

“’Truth’ without grace is not really truth and ‘grace’ without truth is not really grace.” – Tim Keller

 

Psalm 51:10
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

 

  • Accountability protects and strengthens someone we care about.

 

1 Thessalonians 5:14
And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone.


How to practice accountability:

  • Know the fear.
  • Give and get permission.
  • Find your “log” first.
  • Care enough to find courage to speak up.
  • Be specific.

 

 

Questions: 

  1. What did you hear from the Holy Spirit?
  2. What will you do because of it?
  3. How can we pray for you?

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